Rachel In Wonderland
by Blood of Lavender
Summary: Rachel's six and suddenly finds herself in Wonderland! Oh noes! Apparently Apollo likes to troll his oracles.


**Another prompt!fic. Except this is more lighthearted. And crack-y. To dancing dust.**

**Anyway, the prompts were:**

**i. tick-tock, tick-tock.**

**ii. "Wait for me, Mister White Rabbit!"**

**iii. she doesn't know how she ended up here, but she wants nothing more than to get out.**

* * *

"Tick-tock, tick-tock," Rachel sang lightly. Of all her talents, singing was definitely not one of them.

Definitely.

Her father had people over, and didn't want her to be seen this time.

It was boring.

She took out a sheet of paper, and a blue colored pencil - and blue would be the only thing she'd remember of any of this.

The redhead started to draw, and she found herself with a rather odd picture of a rabbit, and brushed it off as being nervous daddy's friend would come in and she her acting silly.

Which was dumb, wasn't it?

Quite.

And soon, she found herself in the back of her apartment building, outside.

It was odd, that the rabbit she saw almost kinda looked exactly like the one she'd just drew.

It happened sometimes, that she drew things that happened in the future.

But she was certain it was really white, and it's fur was really just reflecting off of the clear blue sky.

Lost in her thoughts, Rachel didn't realize the rabbit was running away.

"Wait for me, Mister White Rabbit!"

He turned and looked at her, when most rabbits would just scurry off.

Oh. There was the scurry off part.

She ran, as fast as a six year old with no track experience could.

The rabbit went a bit insane, and jumped down a large hole that Rachel was certain was not there before.

Using logic even an internet troll would think a bit off, she hopped right down after him.

And... Whoa.

_Whoa._

It was big. Bigger than her big house.

It was outside.

And it didn't smell... Didn't smell like home.

Like Lysol and Ajax and dirt.

It was weird, she thought everything smelled like that.

But here it was all... clean. That was the only way to put it. It smelled like an outside hospital. If that made any sense.

But it didn't. She was _six_.

She spotted the rabbit again and chased after it.

"Go. Away." Said the rabbit.

"Why?" She answered. Then she realized she was talking to a rabbit and was mildly afraid.

"Because I said so. That's why. And I'm blue, not white!" Then he mumbled under his breath something about 'Apollo' and 'every time he gets a new one'.

She cocked her head, and skipped away anyway.

That was a mean rabbit!

And found a bottle that said, 'Drink Me'. She decided it was poison and walked away.

Then she came across a cake that said 'Eat Me' and decided it was also poison. Besides, her daddy would get her a cake if she asked for it.

Mm, cake!

* * *

Apollo watched Rachel go on... Weirdly. He only got to make an Alice in Wonderland setting every few years, when a potential oracle was born. And she was completely disregarding the food he set out! The first Alice was much more interesting than skipping along everywhere.

He placed onions, freshly cut, in front of where she was about to skip. That would make the next scene.

* * *

Rachel was skipping, and all of the sudden, tears came out of her eyes!

She wiped them away, but more came out!

Saddened by the stinging in her eyes, she actually started to cry.

Soon she found herself in a pool of her own tears.

Was she in that song that she heard on the radio?

_This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world!_

No! She couldn't, wouldn't drown the whole world! She forced herself to stop crying.

She saw a mouse swimming in her pool, and started talking.

"Hi! I'm Rachel!"

"Hello! I'm Doormouse."

"That's a weird name."

"Rachel's a weird name!"

Rachel frowned and stomped away.

"Wait! Could you cry another foot of water? There's eleven feet here, and it's not good at all!"

What?

She swam away. That mouse was _weird._

She saw a bunch of other animals in her pool.

The wondered how to get dry, and Rachel told them that they should find some towels if they needed to by dry.

They asked her where they could find some towels, and Rachel told them that the maid gave them to her.

She started to sing the Meow Mix commercial song, and they all ran away.

Weird.

The mouse asked her to get gloves for him, but she bluntly said, "I'm not your servant, crazy mouse! Go away!"

Then kept walking.

She doesn't know how she ended up here, but she wants nothing more than to get out.

So she kept walking.

She found a house, and was asked if she wanted tea.

She also wasn't sure if it was poisoned or not, and refused.

Rachel was pretty sure she was in the hospital again, with one of those tubes in her wrist and getting medicine.

She walked around some more, and found some people playing croquet.

A lady, she looked like a queen, was playing with a... was that a nymph?

The queen turned around to see her husband, on a throne, with other nymphs flirting with him.

The queen screeched at the nymph she was playing with.

"ECHO!"

Then she said a bunch of words in a language Rachel didn't understand.

She thought it was in Greek.

Rachel s-l-o-w-l-y walked away.

She was definitely on medicine.

* * *

Apollo was not having fun. She just walked away from everything! He blamed society.

What was the point of having an oracle if you couldn't make them all trippy when they were in the hospital?

It was official.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare was the most boring oracle on the face of the Earth.

He stopped the dream.

* * *

Rachel woke up in a hospital, she knew it!

There was a tube-thingy in her wrist, too!

Her father came in.

Apparently she had tripped into a hole in the gardens (What was she doing there, anyway?) and the pesticides were still fresh, and she fainted.

She also had sprained her ankle.

"You are not allowed to go out into the gardens without an escort again, okay?"

"Okay, daddy."

She was glad her dream was over.

It was really, really, _weird._


End file.
